


3. Draw On Yourself

by GideonGraystairs



Series: 146 Things To Do Besides Self-Harm [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Feels, Alec Lightwood-centric, Angst and Feels, Drabble, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 23:16:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11861679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GideonGraystairs/pseuds/GideonGraystairs
Summary: Hope.This is a series of unrelated drabbles, meaning they can all be read separate.





	3. Draw On Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to [Tumblr](http://raphaelsantiago.co.vu). These 'drabbles' get longer eventually, I promise.
> 
> Full title: Draw on yourself with washable red marker, then take a shower and wash away your pain.

The lines are shaky and unsure, red slips of hesitancy sliding through a snow storm. He almost thinks they’re nicer than the silver lightning they cover, prettier than the pink stitches on fragile porcelain. Maybe it’s the way they glide across the surface, with prose and no resistance, instead of cutting through and leaving marks that last.

Because he’s never liked the scars. Not even when it started and he knew that he could stop. They’ve always been these indelible souvenirs of moments that hadn’t needed to happen, that shouldn’t have even crossed his mind. They’re weakness and loss and desperation and  _silence_  because he’s the only one who can hear himself screaming out for help.

But this- this is different. This is the smooth and gentle glide of a felt-tipped to ease away the mnemonic of  _silverpinkred **scar**_. He feels ephemeral as he runs the instrument across his arm and then his thigh, more so when he steps under the running water of Magnus’s shower and washes it all away. It feels curative, peaceful,  **free** ; like he’s washing away four years of scar tissue with the tears of the whole world. Like he’s washing his own tears right down the drain along with it, back to the oceans his lover sometimes says he comes from.

It feels like  **hope.**


End file.
